New Year

Well I have not written here for a while, just thought it was about time I did.  

Well where do I start?  Let's go back to last year, what a year that was.  First the year started off OK but went downhill from April.  I was coming home from work at 11pm one night on my Scooter and this stupid idiot decided to open his passenger door on the inside of the road just as I was going past the lights were red and I guess he thought while they were stopped he would get out without looking for bikes and such.  I hit the door flew off the bike and hit the edge of the car door with my face.  I was on the floor and stunned and could feel my face swelling up by the second, and you know all I could think was oh no I can not go sick because they will punished me ( they being my beloved Employers the wonderful Sainsbury's)  more about that drama later. Anyway all the men in the car got out and helped me up and took me and my bike onto the pavement on the other side of the road.  I did not want to go through my insurance because I had a £400 access and I would lose my no claims.  

When I woke up the next morning my eye was closed up and the side of my face was swollen so I had to take a few days off work,  The stupid doctor would not give me a sick note so I had to go back to work looking like a monster.  So now I am at work with one of my Managers doing my back to work interview I looked so bad that she asked me if I wanted to take a weeks holiday so now I lose a weeks holiday.  Wait this gets worse, so now I am at home recuperating and the front door knocks and its the postman I don't know how I got talking about my scooter I guess it might have been my black and blue face but he said to me where is the bike I said just there chained to the lamp post.....   so i went down the path and guess what no bike!!!!!!!!  could this get and worse?  in the night someone had stolen the bike! 

So after all that crap with the insurance a week goes by and I am going back to work still with bruises but I can not take any more time, so now listen to this, I have my back to work once more and this time I get told that I will have to have a disciplinary meeting yes you heard right they want to discipline me for having a accident.   The heartless, mean bastards don't take into consideration while you was away from work they just look at that they paid me sick and I have to be punished from not being at work............   I will carry this on later because it does not get better!!!!!!!

SIMPLE WOMEN'S DAY BOOK

FOR TODAY
Outside my window... The sun is shining the birds are singing not far from Spring I hope.

I am thinking... I must go out and get some food shopping in today.

I am thankful... for my dad leaving me his gold so I could sell and help me out with keeping my bike on the road.

In the kitchen... cooking pork chops roast potatoes and on the stove steaming Brussels and carrots.

I am wearing... black leggings tee shirt and a fleece top.

I am creating... not a lot!

I am going... shopping for food sometime today.

I am wondering...  what to write hehe

I am reading... being very lazy in the reading department these days now and then I do listen to my audio books mostly Debbie Maccomber.

I am hoping... my tribunal goes ok next month and the transition over to Job Seekers Benefit goes smoothly. I would not think I will win the case as its taken 9 months to get there and I am feeling a lot better these days.

I am looking forward to... the weather getting better and I can see the new growth in my garden.

I am hearing... the TV

Around the house... not a lot going on Benji is laying at the end of my bed asleep downstairs is quite just waiting for my food to cook.

I am pondering... not much really just thinking what to write on this blog hehe

One of my favorite things... being in my garden looking at my growing garden.

A few plans for the rest of the week: tomorrow going to my sister in laws for dinner not got much planned for the rest of the week just take each days as it comes I guess.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.

here is my brother Jim receiving his MBE last week at the palace. 

IN MEMORY

In Memory of Terry Lyons


Please click on link 

'RIP' TERRY MY BROTHER

Passed away at 2.30pm 8th December 2011

after loosing his fight with Cancer

You will be missed by all of us thanks for all the laughs you gave me through the years you were so funny sometimes.

I found this poem this morning and wanted to post this for my Brother

 Terry who passed Yesterday 8th December 2011

A Wish And A Prayer

© Lauren

May your spirit soar in freedom

From the fears that gripped so tight.

May you find the peace your searched for

As you wandered, lost, in the night.

May your tortured mind be clear and calm

And your tender heart be warm.

May you have no need for strength now.

May there ne'er be another storm.


MORE

THE WEEK SO FAR!

St Mary's Secret Garden

Hackney London

Well its another week and its a week of mixed emotions starting on Monday going to the community garden and learning how to make a mosaic that was interesting its only the beginning but I enjoyed what I have done so far. I do have to push myself to go its too easy just to stay indoors and isolate but I know I need to go out and socialise with others.  


On Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays I ride to Cheshunt to sit with my brother while my sister in law goes to work, its good that she gets some rest-bite from looking after my brother.  It is not nice watching my brother slowly going downhill and not being able to do anything that's the worse of it not being able to make my brother better but that is not going to be.  At first they gave him weeks to live and now its over a month later and he is still holding on, he has a major operation to remove a lump in his neck but that seems to be growing back again, its all so sad to have to watch someone going through this.  I think the bit that really gets me is my brother being so depressed and sometimes it gets too much for him and he breaks down, that gets to me the most not be able to do anything to make him feel better.  Cancer its such a wicked wicked thing!


Now today its Thursday and really I should be going to the garden again but its nice to be able to just chill out in doors doing what ever I want, just to be lazy and recharge my batteries.

The Simple Women's Day Book Nov 20th 2011

FOR TODAY
Outside my window...

Fog yes fog, we had such a mild autumn so far the temps have been in double figures this morning feels a little bit like winter but not too cold.

I am thinking...

I miss summer not just because its summer it’s because I was doing my garden and having no time to think about my problems.

I am thankful...

You know I am sitting her thinking what can I write and I have gone blank, it’s a funny time for my family at the moment and I feel sort of suspended in time with my brothers illness doctors say he has weeks and that was over a month ago so we are all holding our breath and do not know what to think.  It’s not a nice time knowing one of your family are not going to be with us anymore.

In the kitchen...

Not a lot going on in there just a little bit of washing up sitting in the sink I can do that because I live on my own.  I have no one to moan at me because I have not done the washing up.

I am wearing...

Valour bottoms with a tee shirt with a fleece zip up top.

I am creating..   not a lot.

I am going... 

nowhere just taking these few days to chill out at home and just rest,  I spend 3 days a week sitting with my brother and that takes out a lot from the emotions and its nice just to sit at home and not have to feel emotions.

I am wondering... 

when is the fog going to go and maybe the autumn sun going to shine but it’s early yet the day break has only happened.

I am reading... 

I have a few books from the library about gardening and I am just flicking through looking for stuff to learn about my garden.

I am hoping... 

right I cannot think of anything just going through a numb time at the moment.

I am looking forward to...

Getting a job maybe?

I am hearing... 

James Max on the radio talking to callers

Around the house...

My dog sitting on the chair on the other side of my bedroom looking at me and making sounds to get attention.  Not much else going on in the house.

I am pondering...

How can these employers offer such low wages, I guess they have a great choice of people looking for work and some are so desperate they will take a low wage, it makes me angry I was earning between £9 and £10.50 per hour and now I am expected to only work for £6.08 they have got to be joking I rather not work at all.

One of my favorite things... my garden

A few plans for the rest of the week: I have got to push myself to go to the community garden on Monday

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Here is my brother Terry who is fighting and loosing his battle with Cancer this is he wife Sylvia and his Granddaughter Olivia. I am so glad he got the chance to enjoy his Granddaughter.

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/
If you want to do your own Day book!

thanks for reading mine today.

_____________________________

SAD

My Brother Terry and my Great niece Olivia at least he got to know her!!

I do not know what I am feeling today, I feel useless, lost, sad, and helpless.  What can I do? My brother Terry has a matter of weeks to live, his Kidney Cancer is winning the war, he gave it a good fight, positive a lot of the time, but inside I am sure he thought he could beat it.  How can any body come to terms with this horrid, evil monster inside it just keeps on destroying.  I am writing this with a lump in my month and tears in my eyes; its a nightmare to have to face when someone in you family is going to die.  It's bringing up lots of sad memories for me, when mum went and dad, how I had to decide if dad could lived after having his leg cut off, how I could not put him in a home, or leave him to die with his dignity. I chose the latter.  With mum it was so quick no one knew she had leukaemia and it got her in just a month or two.  Life is so hard sometimes, how do you handle it and you hurt so bad for that person.  What do you say, do, how do you make it easier for them?  I don't know I just don't.

FOR TODAY
Outside my window... Looking out my window I see the leaf’s on the tree in my neighbours garden changing colour, at the moment they are a yellow green colour.  The sky is kind of Grey with the sun trying to break through the clouds.

I am thinking... I am sad the summer is coming to an end and I will have to wait to the spring to get stuck into my garden again.

I am thankful... For my Garden it’s been my salvation this summer its help me get my thoughts into a more positive channel and away from the stress and worry.

In the kitchen ...   Not a lot the dishes are washed up and the worktops wiped down and that it really when you live on your own there is never too much going on in the kitchen.

I am wearing... My normal relax at home clothes, tracky bottoms, tee shirt and a fleece top because the mornings are a bit chilly now its Autumn  

I am creating... Well you know what I am going to say to this one, my garden off course.

I am going... sometime this weekend to my brothers; he is in hospital at the moment.  Terry has had an operation to remove a tumour from his neck.  Poor soul has cancer, kidney cancer and its spreading the doctors are trying there hardest to contain it but this horrid disease is far too strong. I wish for my brother a lot more time, I just wish he can be as happy as he can be, he should be home sometime today so I will go tomorrow to see him.

I am wondering... When will they find a cure for cancer?

I am reading.....  I am not reading anything at the moment but I am listening to a Audio book by Debbie Maccomber.

I am hoping... for the best of everything just the simple things in life and maybe a job?

I am looking forward to...I try not to look forward to much, today is enough for me, tomorrow is tomorrow and I will leave it there.

I am hearing... The BBC morning news on the TV taking about the satellite that was falling to earth, it has now landed did not hear where.

Around the house...  I really need to get the vacuum out and the mop my Benji creates far too much mess.

I am pondering... mmmmmmmmmmmmm not a lot!

One of my favorite things...  Hehe, my Garden of course

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Volunteering at the community Garden tomorrow and Thursday and the Charity shop on Tuesday.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

My Garden has come a long way since May.

Olivia is so growing

 Olivia is so growing up she is now walking and even talking she says quite a few words and she is only nearly 17 months

Daddy guiding as always, Olivia is a real Daddies girl she pointed to the phone the other day when daddy was at work and said 'Daddy' so mummy called Daddy and she googa gagga down the phone daddy was real embarrassed because he was in the middle of a disciplinary meeting where he had to be very serious when mummy came back on the phone he told her and she said oh OK bye.

These were taken yesterday mummy and daddy took Olivia to a Urban Farm.

Olivia milking a cow.

Olivia stayed over night at Nanny and Granddads she tired nanny and herself out.

JUST ANOTHER DAY

Oh well I had a quite day have not spoken a word to anybody its like I am living in the world on my own. I had a couple of emails from people in the group I left asking me to come back because they miss me, its so quite without that group but I can not go on ignoring the fact that most of the things they say I do not agree with. Most of the people in that group would never have to walk a mile in my shoes and I can not keep on reading about benefit scum, Muslims, black people, people who live in council houses etc, etc, it gets me down. Apart from that how it makes me feel when they are jetting off around the world when me getting a bus is beyond my budget.

I know I sound like I am moaning all the time, but most people have a shoulder to cry on at the end of the day, someone to come home too to release their pressures and stresses of the day. How can I make people understand how I feel? I am so fed up with all the platitudes from people saying that we make our own luck and you have to make the best of what you have. If living, eating, doing my garden is a life then I be dammed at my nearly 53 years I can call this a life. I gave up the gym because I liked it but what's the point of having 3 months of Free Gym membership when on the 30th of August I have to stop going because I can not afford the £12 a month membership.

I am trying to work out what has put me in this depression again, maybe is reading all the paperwork for my case with my appeal. The medical doctor, and my doctor like I was not a person who was hurting and them stopping my money leaving me with no money, but what do they know? The DWP sent me this paper work so I can pass on to who ever is going to represent me at my tribunal hearing. Then last week I got a letter addressed to my doctor from my group talking about me I was quoted in the later as ' the above women' how I am angry at the meetings that I have been to 14 out of 15 sessions so on and so on. You know I don't think that letter was suppose to be sent to my address the phyc sent it to the wrong address. All these factors just make me more depressed.

Christine Lyons

FOR TODAY
Outside my window... The sun is shining, it’s going to be a nice day, blue sky, birds singing and I have already been up nearly 3 and a half hours already watched the sun come up had two cups of coffee propagated some plant tips.

I am thinking...  I wonder if my plant tips will take this is the second try how do people get these to work I do not seem to have the knack but I will not give up trying.

I am thankful... For having a quite few weeks with no one on my back putting pressure on me, like the housing, council tax people and the worse off all the DWP taking my money away.

In the kitchen...  All I can say about the kitchen is its nice and clean all dishes washed up, and a fridge nice and empty waiting for me to get my money on Monday so I can fill it up again with any luck.

I am wearing... Black valour bottoms and a black tee-shirt with 39 on it, have no idea what the 39 stands for all I know is I had this tee-shirt for years.

I am creating... New plants hopefully

I am going... Have nothing planned was thinking of getting some money from my ever decreasing savings to buy some food.  I think a little more on that one!

I am wondering... how long before I bring in the earnings again, and how long my blinking company are going to hold out, before they give in and lay me off, it’s getting me down how bloody minded they are. 

I am reading... slowly reading ‘No Strange Land’ by Eddie Askew.

I am hoping... I can have another quite week

I am looking forward to... getting out of this blinking mess I am in, it’s a catch 22 situation that is out of my control.

I am hearing... LBC Radio, with Mayor Boris Johnson talking on the radio with people phoning in giving their point of view about London policing.

Around the house... the floor and carpets are waiting to be hovered and Benji lying in the hall downstairs napping.

I am pondering... going to Iceland to fill up my freezer and how I do not want to take any more money away from my decreasing savings.  What to do?

One of my favorite things... Its gardening, it is my new found fav hobby.

A few plans for the rest of the week: On Tuesday maybe going to the walking group, I was the only one who turned up last week, Wednesday my gardening class.  I really need to go to the Gym on Monday last week I did not go so getting lazy with that chore

 
http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/
if you want to do your own Day book!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..

A before and after photos of my garden and the work I have done. 

There's a land where I go when I need to share
that's not on a map, yet exists everywhere

A land of names without faces,
a curious place, modern creation that's called cyberspace.
There's all creation of people with cute little names
Like Pookie, and Sandman and Rosebud and Flames.

Some are just snobs and some are real fun.
And some of them just want to find someone.

But both good and bad they all play a role.
Still each one unique, but part of the whole.

We talk and laugh and wonder why.
We flirt and we hug and sometimes we cry

We can't be heard and can't be seen.
Yet, there it is, right on our screen.

But all in all the most curious part
Is the power it has to open our heart.

To share with a stranger those things we've concealed
Which to our closest of friends we'd never reveal.
Our deepest regrets and most troubling fears
The scars in our life which bring us to tears.

What gives them the power to reach into me
and show me the truths that I never see.

How do they manage to open my eyes
And make me confess the deceit and the lies.

I don't understand this magical spell,
But I know that without it my life would be hell.

This must have been planned by the Creator up above,
Cause there's no place on earth where you'll find as much love.

When I need direction I know I can find
those angels from heaven just waiting on-line.

Written By: Author Unknown
Submitted By: Angela T.

Thank You for Being an Angel!